“Happy New Year!” This expression is exclaimed millions of times the world over. However, what does this mean for our children and young people in care, who have experienced trauma and are sensitive to change? A new year, in essence, signifies a new beginning, a step towards a new unknown.
Many children in care are sensitive to change
Many of our children in care, who have experienced trauma, are sensitive to change. Their past relationships with adults may have been coloured by inconsistent and unpredictable responses to their needs, periods of emotional unavailability, separations and loss. We know our children within the care system may have been faced with multiple changes in environment, some at very short notice.
When a child’s stress-response system is compromised by these persistent experiences of fear, anxiety and uncertainty, they will need more support with managing the various changes / transitions within their life, even within their day.
Let’s consider the idea that children/young people who have experienced trauma may lack a reliable sense of time. Small and big changes alike can be stressful due to a change in their normal routine. They may have previously been prevented from finishing something they enjoyed or lacked control over the beginning and ending of activities and interactions. Sudden changes may have been their normal, leaving them hypervigilant to change and associating change with lack of safety.
When our children experience change, they may be reminded of these past experiences which can evoke feelings of disconnection. We need to help them anticipate these breaks by scheduling more sensory breaks, opportunities for relaxation and to “maximise connection”.
Take a moment to look at this brief therapeutic parenting resource link on connection:
https://beaconhouse.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Connection.png
How to help children in care cope with change
Further to this, we need to continue to help them anticipate when a change is coming. Sometimes verbal reminders are not enough; so it can be useful to also add a visual reminder of when breaks will occur to increase the level of predictability. This can be done through calendars, pictures or art you can create together with them to provide a countdown to the break/change in their routine. You can also paint a picture (metaphorically or visually) of what the “other side” of the change will look like: what will stay the same, what will be different and, if possible, how long the change is going to last.
We wish you all our very best wishes for the coming year ahead and look forward to hearing about the things that have worked well for you and, of course, we can think together about those that have not!
Don’t forget we always hold you in mind and admire your motivation and strength.
Find some more helpful resources from Essex County Council
Our team of clinical psychologists and mental health co-ordinator's have prepared a range of resources to support carers and parents. Find more support on Therapeutic Fostering below.
Find Therapeutic Fostering Resources