Stephen's Blog

“Fostering meant I could have a new start in my life and get back time with my family. We get the opportunity to show children that they can change their path in life.”

I’d been working in management in the travel and tourism industry for 11 years, but when the world stopped due to Covid-19, my company offered me redundancy and I took the opportunity gladly.

My redundancy was a gift: Seeing how many people were suffering due to the pandemic and knowing that I wanted to begin fostering meant I could have a new start in my life and get back time with my family.

Fostering has always been something we've been passionate about because we want to help young people, and when we adopted our daughter seven years ago it reinforced that we were ready to foster.

The entire process of becoming a foster carer was so simple. From the first phone call speaking with the advisors, to going to panel and then becoming a foster carer, it was a great experience. My husband was also able to join meetings because they were all virtual and he was working from home, so we were able to do it together.

We’ve now been fostering for one year and have fostered seven young people in that time, as well as respite care placements, from ages 2 up to 15. We love fostering all ages but especially teenagers.

One young person who came to us on an emergency placement recently said that they felt secure and safe for the first time in a long time. Hearing that melts my heart; It shows that we are doing good, and we’ve helped that young person in a small way.

We try to help the young people who come to us, show them they are safe and supported and help them on their journey. This may seem small, but it makes a massive impact on a young person.

Fostering gives you the opportunity to show your foster children that even though they have been through some horrendous things, life doesn’t have to be like that. They can change their path if they’re willing to. We only hope that our foster children go on and recreate the family environment they’ve experienced in our home.

It is often a myth that teenagers are more challenging to foster, and they can often arrive on our doorstep with past trauma, but you can also create longer lasting relationships with them.

Teenagers often haven’t experienced childhood and we see them watching Disney films and running around playgrounds with our children. They act cool about it, but it’s because they want to, and we can finally see them enjoy their childhood.

We are in contact with most of the teenagers we have fostered. They may only be in our lives for a short space of time, but they make a big impact on us and us on them. When our foster children move on, we always tell them that even though they are no longer living with us, our hearts will always be open, and we will always be there for them, if they need us.

The training from Essex County Council has helped us understand our foster children. It is completely flexible and relevant. I look at the referrals that are coming in to see if there is an increase in young people who have experienced trauma, like self-harm, so I can learn about it before taking on a young person who has been through that. We can tailor the training and I love it.

We are all a lot more understanding of the young people who come to us. It’s heart-warming to see our own children create these bonds with our foster children.

If you’re thinking of fostering, just do it. Give the number a call, chat to the advisors and find out more information. It not only enriches your own life, but the lives of young people who need safety and security.

Fostering has also allowed me to be available for my children and foster children. I have more freedom than I ever did in my previous role. I can go to school meetings if I need to. I can be there for the school drop offs and pickups. I am there for meals, to help with homework and put my children to bed. We spend so much more quality time with each other and that’s what is most important to me right now.

It has changed our lives for the better. The redundancy offered me and my family a new start. I never wanted my family life to involve working long hours and working weekends to cut down on childcare costs. That’s not what I wanted it to look like and now fostering has now given us back our time as a family.

Join us for a online information event where you can speak with foster carers like Stephen, find out more and ask any questions.