Ruth and Geoff

“Fostering is a way of life, and it’s never too late to start fostering young people who need it.” Essex couple in their mid-60s urge residents to become foster carers no matter your age.

Geoff and I have been together for 27 years and never had children of our own but desperately wanted to open our home to young people who needed it.

For a long time, we discounted ourselves as foster carers because of our age, because we had no direct experience of raising children and we have no family close by as backup. Thankfully, after speaking to Essex County Council our minds were put at rest. 

We were pleased to hear that you can be any age from 21 upwards to become a foster carer and being in your mid-60s doesn’t make any difference. Although we don't have children of our own, we certainly have plenty of life experience and wisdom to draw on. All you need to foster is love in your heart and a spare bedroom. 

We have always been caring people; Geoff taught apprentices when he was a car mechanic, so we liked being around young people. We put ourselves through the assessment process and the more we learnt, the more we were sure we wanted to become foster carers and knew we were on the right path.

Essex County Council then provided all the training we needed, which started with a three-day course on skills to foster. We have now been fostering for two years and have looked after one young person during that time.

Essex County Council continue to deliver excellent training courses on a variety of relevant topics from food safety to gang culture. We cannot fault their support and guidance. Our Supervising Social worker or someone from their team is always on hand.  We have also connected with other foster carers near us and can always contact each other for friendship and support. There are so many people you can call on through Essex County Council that we never feel alone, and there is always someone from the team available 24/7 if we need them.

When our young person arrived, we immediately let them know that they were part of our family. They arrived on Geoff’s birthday, so we asked if they wanted to come out for a meal with us and even let them choose the venue. This was a lovely, relaxed way to spend their first evening together with us.

We lead by example, by showing compassion, respect, and kindness to each other as a couple and to our young person. Hopefully, they will take on those good traits. For example: we shop and help care for some elderly neighbours and we recently took on a new 17-year-old rescue cat with a health condition. Seeing our examples of kindness have been instrumental in helping our young person.

We show our young person that we care for their safety and wellbeing, and we treat them as an equal. They certainly know they are truly being taken care of and looked after. That way they can concentrate on just being themselves and on their studies.

At times it is challenging, but seeing our young person develop, not just academically, but as a person, is worth it. Now they are off to university having achieved very high grades and we couldn’t be prouder.

We are currently helping them get ready for their imminent move to University and we have explained that they can come home during holidays. We will keep a room available for them, so they know they have somewhere to go. 

There are many reasons why children come into care, there is no stereotype of foster children, but fostering is always needed and is vital for these children.

Foster carers really do provide stability for those children and young people, so they know they are looked after and cared for, and all the worry is taken away from them.

These are the things we often take for granted, but they mean the world to these children.

If you’ve got fostering in your mind, just go for it, you won’t regret it. Go through the assessment process and see what you think. There are always young people who need foster carers.

Fostering is a way of life for us. We don’t see it as a job and truly love having someone else to focus on and look after. Fostering has made us even more caring, understanding, and compassionate. We learn something new every day, either from our young person or from the relevant training. 

We’ve seen the positive change it can make to young people's lives. We also we know we’re making a difference and helping them shape their future.