Kathy's blog
Fostering isn’t for the faint hearted - it’s for the open hearted. It really does bring me so much joy and I wish that I’d started fostering sooner.
As someone who had always wanted to work with vulnerable children, but ended up in a myriad of other jobs, I was drawn to fostering when my children grew up and became independent.
I have now been fostering for 9 years and have fostered 33 children who were mostly aged between 11-18 years old. I am currently fostering one 11-year-old boy, and two other siblings, aged 7 and 5.
The siblings, who have been with me for eight months, have come such a long way in that short amount of time. The eldest, in particular, lost out on a big part of her childhood as she would often have to look after her younger brother.
She wanted to continue mothering him when she first arrived and wouldn’t let me wash and dress him or read him a bedtime story for fear that he would get hurt. Now we have built up that trust with her she lets me do this alone, so it’s nice for her to be able to do something for herself instead.
The transformation in both has been incredible. It really makes me proud to see how confident and independent they are both becoming; something they were not given the opportunity to develop previously as they were so focused on looking after each other.
It’s lovely for them now to just be children and play games. They didn’t even know how to play when they came to us because their toys would be broken. Now, they can enjoy Christmas, go to the zoo, and enjoy days out. All things that they have never experienced before. It’s these small things that make a big difference.
It’s not always been plain sailing - past challenges made me question whether I could continue, but with the support and when you see them developing like this, it gives me a reason to continue.
The support network that you have through Essex County Council has been key to this continuation. It’s also made such a difference to my life and how I foster - I was previously with an independent fostering agency. Although the fees sometimes appear higher the training here is first class and the resources you have available couldn’t be better.
It’s especially great to have access to a whole team here who can advise and support you – it’s nice for the children to see they have a wealth of different people working together for them.
With each placement your routine changes completely because all children are so different, but Essex County Council are right behind you all the way.
My supervising social worker is incredible, and we have a brilliant open and honest relationship.
Some wider family and friends may not quite understand the different style of parenting we have adapted to reflect the trauma these children have experienced. It’s therefore incredibly important to have a support network of other foster carers around you, which we get through Essex County Council. There is no judgement from them, and they can reassure me that I’m doing the right thing or nudge me in the right direction.
If you’re looking to foster, then just do it! All you need is love, patience and honesty. The rest will come with the support on offer.