Yvonne Fisher blog

I was working long hours in the city, spending most of my day either crammed on the train or sat behind a desk. It got to a point where it just wasn’t rewarding any more. I wanted more in life than just commuting and working.

Looking at Fran (my partner’s) mum, who was a foster carer, I could see how much she enjoyed those connections with her children. That really planted the seed of starting a new career as a foster carer.

Being from a big family myself, I guess it’s only natural that I would want a big family of my own. Fast-forward 14 years and 15 foster children of all ages I can honestly say that it’s the best career move I’ve ever made!

They say that you will change a child’s life by fostering them, but in reality, it’s ended up changing my own life.

Being in a same-sex couple never entered my mind as a potential barrier to signing up as a foster carer. All I knew is that we had something special and wanted to share that love with children.

It’s a real shame that other same-sex couples might not realise they fit the criteria. I can reassure them that it’s never caused our children any teasing. In fact, it’s very rare to get a comment and it’s never from a child but a parent.

People can see that we’re good role models and love is so much more important than biology.  All you need is love in your heart and a spare bedroom! And perhaps a pinch of patience too…

It’s certainly not easy and a fairy-tale from day one. You’re dealing with children who may have experienced a lot of disappointment, anger and upset in their lives. That can be very overwhelming for them when they turn up on your doorstep.

However, if you put the effort in and treat them as part of your family, it will be worth it. You just need to be strong, take the support offered by Essex County Council, and be their safety blanket.

Giving them the opportunities that they may not have had, underpinned with your love, will see them not just survive but thrive in the future. We’ve always insisted that we don’t mind what they end up doing for a living, as long as they are genuine to who they are as a person and happy.

I’ve learnt from my own career swap that money is not happiness. The smiles on their faces are all the payment I need. More recently, the coronavirus pandemic has brought into sharp focus just how important a foster carer role is.

Many have missed seeing their parents during the lockdown. It made me realise that foster children, through no fault of their own, must feel like that every day.

It’s my role to help support them and help them heal.