Kathy's Blog

“As soon as they walk through the door, they are part of the family.” Essex foster carer Kathy, explains how important foster carers are for children in care.

I have four sons who are all grown up with their own families and have five grandchildren between them. My home is always a busy place full of life and energy.

When my youngest son was still at home I joined a student exchange programme and welcomed students aged 14-16 from across the world for a few weeks at a time. I did that for four years and met so many wonderful young people, some I'm still in contact with now.

Whilst I was a part of this programme it made me realise that I wanted to take on a young person on a more permanent basis. In 2012 I started to investigate fostering and joined an agency. The agency wasn’t the right fit for me and I saw an advert for Essex County Council’s fostering services, so I went along to an open event and the rest is history.

I was confirmed a foster carer for Essex County Council in October 2013 and had our first placement in January 2014. I have looked after 5 young people in total, all on long term placements. I enjoy having a young person stay with me until they are ready to move out on their own. I find this the most rewarding because I see them grow and develop so much over the years and build lasting relationships with them.

I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t foster. It is a job, but it doesn’t feel like a job. I am stepping into that parental role for these young people. I treat them like I did my own children. As soon as they walk through the door, they are part of the family.

Foster children do have challenges because they have usually experienced some trauma, but all they need is love, support and somewhere to call home. They look to you to give that to them. They need a home; stability and they need love.

You show them that they can have a home, they can have support and they can have love. What they’ve experienced doesn’t always happen, it won’t always be like that and hopefully they go forward with their lives knowing that they have that support.

Fostering gives them that support and sets them up for the future, something they may not have experienced in their lives. I help the young people I look after move on to independence.

One of my young people was 15 years old when she came into our family, and she stayed for five years until just before her 21^st birthday. She stayed with us as part of the Essex ‘staying put’ scheme which allows young people to stay in foster care until they are 21 years old (rather than 18) giving them valuable extra time during which they can be supported to prepare for living independently.

I encouraged her to look after her room and help around the house and she helped cook and do laundry for herself. These are things we often take for granted, but it’s these small things that make a difference to a young person.

They leave knowing they will be ok living independently. The staying put scheme allowed this young person to stay until she was 21 if she wished but when she turned 20, we knew it was time for her to live on her own. She spoke with her social worker, and we all discussed it together and agreed that it was time.

It was an adjustment for her, she would phone us daily, but she knew she could call us, and then she started to call less and less because she was settling down well. Now she’s been living on her own for a couple of years and she’s so happy. She works in hospitality and enjoys her job and her life.

She was challenging but we learned from those experiences together. It helped her to know that we still supported her through all her challenges, and we still do now.

The most rewarding thing is seeing our foster children happy. They haven’t always had the best experiences but seeing them grow, seeing them develop and seeing them happy is the best feeling in the world. You know that it’s down to you, that you are making that difference and helping them grow up and set them up for the future.

To find out more attend one of the online information event where you can speak with foster carers like Kathy and ask any questions you may have.