Derrick's Blog

“We will help our foster children and support them no matter what.”

Essex foster carer Derrick explains how important foster carers are for children in care.

Fostering has always been a part of my life. My mum fostered once I had left home, and once my own children grew up, it was something I wanted to do myself.

My wife was a full-time foster carer whilst I was a lorry driver, but when she passed away in 2008 I became a full time foster carer as a single male.

I then met Rachael in 2009 and we’ve been together ever since. We foster children aged 8-18 but generally young teenagers, children seeking asylum and children with disabilities. We love having young people around and giving them the opportunities and memories to help them grow and develop and move onto independence.

Rachael had always worked with children with disabilities before we met so she was keen to take on more children who needed this support.

We currently foster two young people full time, one with disabilities and one seeking asylum, and are supporting another two young people, one who is transitioning back to live with their birth family and for the other we share parental responsibility with the birth parents.

I’ve been fostering for 31 years, and Rachael became a foster carer in 2013. Over the years I have fostered over 100 children, and I don’t intend to stop anytime soon.

Rachael and I foster full time and love fostering children. We treat them like our own children, we make sure we have dinner together and we encourage them to look after themselves and treat the house with respect. It’s these little things that make a difference.

Between us we have four children and eight grandchildren, and they all welcome our foster children. The foster children have a big extended family that they are happy around.

Every child that comes into our home, we hope to set them up to become independent and look after themselves. Most children come to us between the ages of 10–13 and stay with us until they are 18 years old as long-term placements.

Long term placements allow us to really make a difference and see them into adulthood. Our current foster children are all on long term placements. We helped one young person move into their own place last year and we are planning on doing the same with our young person who has learning difficulties in a couple of years’ time.

We have a great relationship with our foster children and are still in touch with most of them now and are always at the end of the phone should they need us. One such young person moved out about three years ago, but we still see each other each month. He recently called me because his nan had died, and he needed to go to Exeter and without hesitation I said I would take him.

Each child has usually experienced some form of trauma in their lives, and it is challenging at times, but we work together as a team and we will always support them, no matter what. That’s all they need, to feel seen and heard.

The support we have received from Essex County Council has been great. When we needed it, our supporting social worker was right there with advice and guidance.

Equally the training that is available is so relevant and the subjects are so wide-ranging. For us the courses on children with disabilities and children seeking asylum, have been most beneficial and the training is available throughout the year so it’s invaluable.

There are a lot of children, of all ages, that need stability and support. We can offer a home where they feel safe and secure, and they know they have that safe place.

We will help them however we can. When one of the young people we fostered moved on to live by himself, we helped him move, clean, and tidy his place, decorate and gave him some of our furniture just to get him set up. We care about all our foster children and he’s still a part of the family now, even though he’s been moved out for four years.

We love fostering, it does come with its challenges, but that’s why we do it. We want to help children who haven’t had the same opportunities as ours did. We’ve had the life experience to understand what teenagers are going through and we just want to support them as best we can.

They’re all part of our family and when they tell us they’ve got that job they wanted, or they’ve got into the University they wanted, we feel so proud of them. We know that it’s down to our support, that we are making that difference and helping them grow up and set them up for the future.

To find out more attend one of the online information event where you can speak with foster carers like Derrick and ask any questions you may have.