Daryl

“Just seeing a foster child smile for the first time, is the best feeling in the world.” Essex foster carer Daryl urges residents to foster children to give them the stability they need to succeed in life.

My husband Alan and I have been together for 26 years, married for 19 years, and have five children between us, who are all grown up and have flown the nest. However, we started fostering when three of our children were aged 7, 9 and 12 years old.

My sister was attending a fostering recruitment event, so we went along to support her. It was so enjoyable and interesting, talking to lots of different people from social workers to foster carers, so we decided to investigate this path further.

We felt that we were good roles models; we could offer these young people a safe home and care, so we decided that fostering was the right path for us.

We eased ourselves into it and didn’t make any quick decisions as it would have a big impact on our whole family. It was so important that we had the support from our children as it likely changes the family dynamics.

We started off fostering for short term and respite care, but we now foster long term. It’s been 21 years and it’s been a wonderful experience for us all. Our children have grown up around foster children and we’ve all personally grown from having them in our life. We learnt to not take things for granted and we will all look back at our experiences with affection.

Although we started fostering babies, we prefer to foster teenagers.  

Older children often get a bad reputation, they potentially need that extra emotional support, at least to begin with, because they could have been through a lot in their young lives. All children and young people though, no matter their age, need a safe and stable home environment.

Some children and young people come to us feeling quite angry, but by building trust with them, providing them with stability and safety, you start to see their confidence and self-esteem grow. It is so rewarding for us.

Alan and I have seen some of our young people go from almost being suspended from school to passing their GCSEs and A-Levels, and even going on to complete a university degree. That means the world to us.

It makes us very proud to see them reach their potential, to grow as a person, but it also gives us the confidence that we are doing things right. We are doing right by them.

Fostering children of any age comes with its challenges, but over the 21 years we have always had amazing support from Essex County Council (ECC). From the ongoing training to the support we get from our supervising social workers (SSW), we couldn’t fault any of it.

There are also fostering support groups, so there are other foster carers you can chat to if you just need advice.

There have been times where we thought the challenges we were facing were too much, but with this support and guidance we never felt alone and still enjoy fostering to this day.

If you are considering fostering, go through the assessment process, speak to social workers, speak to foster carers, and speak to your family. Get as much information as you can and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Just seeing our foster child smile for the first time, to see them grow in confidence and self-esteem, is the best feeling in the world. We are so proud of all our foster children, and we will always think of them as our own children and our own family.