Sylvie and Theo’s Blog

Sylvie and her family have been fostering since Theo, her youngest son was two years old. Now Theo is a teenager and fostering is a natural part of his life. 

Theo said, “I have fostered my whole life so it’s the default for me and it’s a part of my identity that I cherish.” 

Sylvie said, “Fostering is part of our life, it’s part of what we do, and I couldn’t imagine our life any different. Theo was two and my eldest son was just starting reception.” 

Sylvie remembers the moment she decided to start fostering. “My husband and I are both teachers and I could see how some families and children struggle and I wanted to help. I was out walking one day, and we saw a bus drive past with an advert on the side saying ‘fostering changes lives’, that was my sign.” 

Teaching shaped how Sylvie fosters children and is the reason fostering came so naturally to her and her family. “When you teach you care and you look after people, and you establish relationships. That’s what fostering is to me, caring and having those relationships.” 

Sylvie and her family foster mostly teenagers and young adults and they can often be protective of her children because they are younger than them. 

Theo said, “A lot of the children we’ve fostered have seen me like their younger sibling and they’ve been protective of me, and it’s been lovely to have that relationship with them. 

“The children that we foster are part of our family and I never feel like they’re taking my parent's attention away from me. It’s an honour to share my parents with them.” 

Sylvie said, “We were worried about competing demands and how we would look after our own children as well as our foster children, but it fitted together from day one.  

“It was reassuring for the teenagers we foster to see that the young children of our own were looked after and the teenagers would know that if the little ones were safe, they were safe.” 

Sylvie said she had concerns when she first started fostering but the assessment process new foster carers go through with Essex County Council, and the support she still receives, put her mind at rest.  

“When you foster, you will have worries and concerns, but there is always support available. 

“To begin with we went through an assessment process, and all questions, worries and assumptions we had were put to rest. We had training and we had meetings with our supervising social worker as a family and on my own.   

“If I have any worries, I know my social worker is always at the other end of the phone.” 

Theo agrees with his mums views on the support they receive from Essex County Council. “I don't think the fostering system gets enough credit. We have a therapeutic social worker who we get on with so well and even takes time to meet with just me. We meet after school sometimes and we talk about things. The social workers are amazing as well, I’ve had so much support.” 

The experiences fostering has taught the whole family have been wholly positive as Sylvie tells us, “The impact fostering has had on my family has been hugely positive.  

“You never stop learning, whether that’s from the numerous training courses that are available to me when I want, or from my own children or from my foster children. I learn everyday with the young people I foster.  

“Fostering has made me a better version of myself because it has taught me so much through welcoming all these young people into our home. 

“I am so proud of my children; they have taken to fostering so well and they love it. They are so emotionally reflective and intuitive. We share everything with them, they do the training with me sometimes. 

Theo said, “Fostering is a rollercoaster. Overall, it’s such a positive experience, but unexpected things do happen, and you don’t always know how to react. 

“Fostering has allowed me to see other perspectives on the world. I’ve become more empathetic towards other people. There have been times when a foster child has been more difficult to live with, but I know it’s not their fault and always try to remember that.” 

Sylvie reflects on what she believes you need to be a foster carer, "You need to have flexibility, resilience, and a good sense of humour!” 

“I'm very proud to have contributed to all these young people's lives. We make everything available to them and these children have had to fight so much for so little. I'm just honoured that I can do it.” 

Sylvie wants to encourage more people in Essex to become foster carers, “If you are just considering fostering, don’t hesitate to contact Essex County Council to ask any questions you have. 

“Fostering has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done, the most challenging, but the most rewarding. Fostering is not part of my life; it has made my life!” 

Theo agrees, saying: “There are so many things I love about fostering, but what I love the most is seeing how you help people. When you see barriers come down and they trust you, that’s the difference. 

“Fostering changes people's lives and it’s lovely seeing the difference my family has made. It gives me a sense of helping someone else and it’s changed my life in a positive way.” 

To find out more attend one of the online information event where you can speak with foster carers like Sylvie and ask any questions you may have.