Celebrating Mother's Day - Sue and Chiara

Sue and Ray have been fostering with Essex for almost a decade. With two grown-up daughters of their own, Sue and Ray welcomed Chiara, into their family five years ago. Sue shares her experiences of fostering, including how she celebrates Mother's Day with Chiara, and Albana, Chiara's mum. 

"My husband Ray and I have been fostering for nine years. The idea originally came from Ray – he had a difficult childhood and he wanted to make a difference to the lives of young people, and so did I.

We have two daughters, who are both social workers in their thirties and have now moved out of the family home.

When we foster, we welcome them into the family like any child. There is no difference, they are all loved the same. A lot of the children come back to see us regularly, and we think of ourselves as one big extended family.

Chiara came to us when she was 12 years old, and we have been fostering her for five years now.

She is a really valued member of the family, and it’s been a joy to see her grow in the time she’s lived with us.

Our relationship with Chiara’s mother, Albana, has always been very strong. Chiara is in care due to her mother’s past experiences with mental illness, and Albana is very reassured that Chiara lives in a loving home. She sees Chiara every week, and we all get on really well. Chiara feels that she has two homes and two mums.

On Mother’s Day, we celebrate like other families: everybody comes round, even the extended family, and we cook lots of food. Chiara buys me flowers and a card, and it’s a really special day for us all.

One of our most special memories is visiting Italy with Albana and Chiara. It was the trip of a lifetime – we went to meet Chiara’s family, and it was a really big moment for them both. Albana hadn’t been back to Italy for 12 years. We cooked lots of food, went out for meals, and spent really valuable time bonding with the family.

When you foster, you have to become the child’s parent. Every child deserves to have a loving parent – it’s the least they should be able to have. The children really do become part of the family.

Fostering certainly presents challenges that you wouldn’t experience in everyday life, but it’s a very special experience. It makes you realise what a narrow world you’ve been living in.

Nobody is sure about fostering in the beginning – just take it step by step. I’ve been very surprised by my journey, but I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

My time spent fostering has been one of my favourite decades."

Chiara reflected on the impact Sue has had on her life.

“Sue and Ray have so much passion to get me involved with my family. It was such a big thing for them to do, to go out of their way to take us to Italy. It was amazing.

I’ve never met someone like Sue, she means a lot to me. It’s like having two mums – two loves, two pieces of advice, two everything.”

Also, Albana, Chiara’s mother, shared her thoughts on the fostering experience and how it has benefitted their lives.

“Sue is a real mum. Chaira is getting a good education and a good lifestyle which I couldn’t give to her when I was unwell. I feel that Sue is my family here in England. My daughter is living with my sister now.”

Get in touch today  

If you’re passionate about making a difference to the lives of vulnerable children and young people, you could be a fantastic foster carer. Our enquiry team will work with you individually, offering advice tailored to your situation.  

If you’re thinking about fostering, ask for an enquiry pack today to learn more.