Sue and Tom's Blog

 “You don’t lose anything, but you gain so much.”

Foster carer Sue Unwin shares her memory of welcoming Tom into the family:

“Tom was our first foster child, we had been approved as foster carers just three days before we got the call to take him in. It was the day after Tom’s 13^th birthday, he literally arrived in a school uniform that was too small for him, carrying a birthday cake and nothing else.

“I went to the shop to buy him some pyjamas and a toothbrush and we had fish and chips for dinner. That was the first night.

“Tom was just grey with shock and he didn’t speak for about three months, it was sad and challenging but eventually he felt happy and settled, and really comfortable to talk to us. He has continued to thrive, he did well in school, and it’s been a great success for him to join our family.

“One of the best things about fostering is introducing children to new life experiences, things that they haven’t had the opportunity to do before. We went to Spain – Tom’s first trip abroad – and we had an amazing family holiday in New York, he did well at his Duke of Edinburgh Award and he’s enjoyed concerts, opera and theatre trips.

“It’s not all ‘roses around the door’ but it has been a really interesting journey, he has many cultural interests, and he’s become an integral part of our family.

“Tom is a smart lad and it wasn’t until he’d been at secondary school for a year that we realised how academically capable he was, and we needed to encourage that. We took him to the university towns like Cambridge, we made it clear that it was our aspiration for him and that he was clearly bright enough. He knew he was supported and that really meant a lot to him.

“We gave him as much support as we possibly could and we’re very proud of Tom. His interest in neuroscience, it’s a fascinating subject and I’m looking forward to what the future holds for him.”

Tom’s story:

“I’m Tom, I’m 20 and I’m studying Neuroscience at Keele University in Stoke-on-Trent.

“I never knew what I wanted to do before coming in to care. I didn’t know what to think of myself or what I was capable of.

“I’ve now found a real passion for brain behaviour and anatomy, after university I’d like to do a PhD or Postgraduate Medical Degree.

“When I first met Sue and Ray I was a bit frightened and angry. They were very positive, big personalities, and they wanted to support me. I see now that it was a good thing and I’ve had a huge amount of experiences in life, I’ve learned more about the world and cultural diversity.

“My one message to other children in care would be this – you don’t loose anything, you don’t loose your birth family, but you gain so much.

“I would never have got to where I am now or have these aspirations if I hadn’t been fostered by Sue and Ray, they have really helped me to form a judgement on what I want to do with my life. What I think about myself and my capabilities.

“My foster family has formed me as a person more than anyone else in my life, and they’ve meant that I can actually have a future, something to look forward to.”

To find out more about fostering you can attend one of the online information events where you can speak with the team and foster carers and ask any questions you may have.