Learning from respite care - Hayley and Jenn

Being relatively new to fostering with Essex, Jenn and Hayley are gaining experience and growing in confidence every day. With two cats, three dogs and a ten-year old foster child, the couple have a busy home, but clearly wouldn’t have it any other way.  

Jenn and Hayley share their experience so far and what they would say if you are thinking about fostering.  

Going back to the start, what inspired you to become a foster carer? 

With their professional backgrounds in welfare and wellbeing, becoming a foster carer was a life ambition for Jenn and Hayley.  “I work in a busy mental health crisis team,” explains Jenn. “I’m quite often involved in safeguarding meetings, speaking to social workers and seeing the need for foster care.”  

Hayley adds; “I worked in a secondary school, we taught children in care, who spoke to me if they needed help. Seeing them flourish was lovely. 

“But, also, I could see that some children didn’t have ideal care settings.”  

Both Jenn and Hayley wanted to do more to help and give back to their community. Then, soon after they met, Jenn and Hayley felt they were ready to apply to become foster carers.  

“Looked after children need positive role models,”  

Since they were approved to become foster carers, Jenn and Hayley have provided a home for several children who need respite care.  

There are different types of fostering, including respite care. This involves caring for a child from just one weekend a month and during school holidays, giving their full-time carers some downtime and creating a support network. 

“Respite care has been invaluable; it’s been a real eye-opener.” Said Jenn “We’re very open-minded and respite care has helped build our expectations and skill sets.”  

Support from their social worker, and local community of foster carers has also been immensely useful.  

Essex County Council offer 24/7 support for our foster carers, with an out of hours line available for emergency help and questions.  

“It feels like one big family.” 

“Someone is always at the end of the phone.” notes Hayley. “There’s always someone to talk to and ask, ‘I’m not really sure about this, what would you do?’” 

Often, our fostering teams run meet ups - like Christmas parties and summer picnics – for communities of foster carers. Jenn and Hayley have enjoyed them, especially with their 10-year-old foster child.  

“I think it’s good for the kids too,” says Hayley. “They get to meet other children in foster care, and it doesn’t feel so isolating.” 

Connecting carers with each other is part of the support, including our OASIS networks. These groups give carers the chance to learn from more experienced carers, discussing all aspects of fostering.  

“You never feel alone as a foster carer.”  

With their professional backgrounds, Jenn and Hayley were ready to embrace Essex County Council’s therapeutic fostering approach.  

Each child in care has faced disruption, therapeutic fostering encourages carers to understand this trauma and support the child in overcoming it. “Small things make such a difference, so many children have underlying self-esteem issues, because of their trauma. 

“It’s lovely to see their confidence building up. If our ten-year-old does something like rip a piece of paper in a way that might look like a dinosaur at the right angle – he’s like ‘wow, look at that!’ and he’s proud of himself. 

“It’s our job to reaffirm him and gradually build up his confidence in subtle ways.” 

What are Jenn and Hayley’s favourite things about being foster carers? There are too many to pinpoint.  

After taking a moment to think, Jenn says; “It’s the tiny moments.  

“Hearing the first time the child says, ‘thank you’. Or, if you have a child who is bit guarded, the first time they ask for a hug.  

“It’s small but you know it’s a big gesture for the child.”  

Hayley nods. “Seeing changes like self-care improving or a child saying ‘I love you’ for the first time. 

“Knowing we have had something to do with that is very rewarding.” 

Get in touch today

Speaking with Jenn and Hayley, it’s clear they feel committed to and passionate about improving children’s lives, they are truly making a difference. If you’re thinking about fostering, ask for an enquiry pack today to learn more.