Fiona's Blog

“Fostering is a way of life” – Fiona shares the joys of fostering children alongside her daughters

At the age of eight, I read a book about a group of siblings who went to live in a children’s home. From then on, I knew fostering was something I’d always want to do. When I met my husband at the age of 20, I shared my wish, and he was very supportive. We went on to have two daughters of our own and started fostering when they were 5 and 7. They have now both left home with their own families.

After initially fostering one child, we went on to adopt him as our son, and now he is 23 years old. He has come such a long way from when we first met him.

Originally, we fostered children for occasional sleepovers, then we started fostering full-time. It meant I could give up work and stay at home with my children too. It was a big decision to leave work, but I haven’t regretted it for a second. It’s nice to be able to spend so much time with the children, and they love the fact that I’m always there.

Each of my daughters have had positive experiences growing up alongside foster children. They’ve always been compassionate, empathetic girls, but fostering has made them all the more so. They enjoyed guiding the foster children and being a part of their lives. My eldest daughter, Danielle, particularly enjoyed living with fostered children. She was always so caring, and today she fosters children herself.

My youngest daughter was shyer around the children we fostered, so she struggled at times. But, after living with one of our foster children long-term, she came to call him her brother, like Danielle. In fact, both of my daughters have given their children his middle name. He was really treasured by them both, and they were devoted to him through to the end of his life.

When you already have children, it’s so important to get the right match for your family. We have fostered several children with more difficult needs in the past, and this has understandably made things a little more challenging for the whole family. We always made sure that we spent quality time with our daughters individually, so there has always been a good balance.

It’s lovely to see my daughters have been inspired by a childhood spent with foster children. My youngest now works in social services, and Danielle, my eldest, has been fostering for 11 years. They are so supportive – both have provided respite when I’ve needed it. It’s so good to have a support network made up of the people I love.

Fostering is such a rewarding role. It’s a career but it’s also a way of life, a way of being. I’ve always enjoyed it, even during challenging times. We help the foster children, but they help us too – there’s nothing quite like it.

If other parents are considering fostering, I’d say go for it. With the right match, there is nothing more rewarding for the whole family. Seeing the children settle down, blossom and feel safe is the most wonderful feeling.

Compassion and empathy are key to being a foster carer. You also need to be adaptable – my philosophy is that there is always a solution. I am always the person looking for that and, by working together, the whole family can make a difference.

I’ve had a very good, professional working relationship with social workers at Essex County Council. They give out-of-hours support and I’ve been introduced to an entirely new social circle of other local foster carers – together we have regular coffee mornings, a Facebook page, and we all support each other.

A big benefit for me has been the amount of time I have now. I used to work around parenting but, since fostering, I’m able to work from home and have more time in the day to spend with the children and my family.

In a nutshell, fostering makes you feel grateful for everything you have. My foundations, my family, are really important to me. It gives me lots of life, and it keeps me young too! I really like the lifestyle – we spend our days going to the zoo, or visiting parks, and it all makes my work fun – and if you are having fun, so are the children.

To find out more about fostering you can attend one of the online information events where you can speak with the team and foster carers and ask any questions you may have.