Danielle’s Blog

“It’s a whole family decision” - Danielle’s fostering story, inspired by her own childhood experience

I really enjoyed growing up with foster children, and now I absolutely love fostering with my own family. It has given my children so much compassion and insight into the lives of others.

My husband and I have a daughter aged 13 and son aged 9, and we’ve been fostering together for 11 years. Over the last 10 years, I’ve looked after lots of children including sibling groups. During the last two years, we’ve looked after three children under three. It’s not always easy, but it’s been a positive experience for us all.

Currently we’re fostering an 11-month-old and we’re looking at fostering another child soon. We’ve found that short-term placements for little ones work well for us, and our children adore them.

We love being a big, busy family; we go out and we give all the children different experiences. We treat the foster children as part of our family, we’re always there for them and then we make sure we catch up with the child once they leave our care. I try to go above and beyond to give them a positive experience, and to keep a good working relationship with their family and social workers. The support network of other foster carers has really opened our social circle.

We always talk to our children before deciding on a foster child and this is encouraged by Essex County Council – it’s a whole family decision and everyone is supported. We’ve said no to a potential child before if our children aren’t keen – it makes them feel valued to know that are listened to and considered. Sometimes they surprise me when they’re excited to welcome a child that has experienced lots of challenges!

Growing up in fostering family was a positive experience for me. It was always lovely to see the difference we made to the lives of other children. Sometimes it was difficult to share parents, but we always had our own room and our parents always made sure we each felt special. There are times when my own children might feel overlooked, so it’s important for us to have a strong support network (extended family, friends, and other foster carers) who are always there for them.

Our children have learnt a lot of skills and experienced different cultures, and it’s been eye-opening for them to see a different side to life, which is really paving their path into adulthood. I think it’s more likely to encourage them to help others as they grow older. It’s character building too, and already our son has said he’d love to adopt when he’s older.

I also enjoy training with Essex County Council, especially the virtual training as I can do this from the comfort of home at my own pace without needing a childminder. They offer a large variety of courses and I generally enjoy them. I also really recommend fostering through Essex County Council, they have Oasis support networks all over Essex – each is a group of up to 10 local carers and we often do activities together as a family, share advice and offer sleepovers for the children. The children also make great friendships through the group.

To find out more about fostering you can attend one of the online information events where you can speak with the team and foster carers and ask any questions you may have.